my unbelief

This is something that I read the other night in my Daily Light that really spoke to me (from July 25th evening): 

• He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God (Rom 4:20).  Have faith in God... if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours (Mk 11: 22, 23-24).  And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Heb. 11:6).  He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned."  Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead (Heb 11:17-19).  Being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised (Rom 4:21).  Is anything too hard for the Lord (Gen 18:14)?  With God all things are possible (Mt 19:26).  Lord, increase our faith (Lk 17:15)!

God really spoke to me through this in the midst of the financial hardships we have been going through (with Adam's commission only job not bringing in much revenue).  I was convicted that when I was praying for God to provide for us that in my heart I wasn't truly believing that He was going to do it - I was so jaded from all the months (over a year) of praying about this situation.  As I look back I can see that God was providing for us all along - but not to the standard that I felt was acceptable.  In the midst of this, I am learning to let go of my idea of how my prayers should be answered because I know that God is the perfect Father - "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Mt 7:11)  I know that "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"(Rom 8:32)  And so I cry out with the father of the convulsing son in Mk 9:24 - "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"