"Mom, when we get China baby will we teach her that she doesn't have to cry silent tears?" Asked by Caleigh while laying on China baby's bed in the room that she'll share with Caitlin, as she watched me switch out clothes in the drawers. Y'all. I'm not a crier (though it seems this adoption is attempting to make me one) - but I almost burst into tears right there.
The purpose in our adoption was not to open our kids' eyes to the lonely, the oppressed, the unloved, but it's doing that. Actually the purpose in our adoption was not about us at all. That's one thing that has been sticking with me these past couple weeks. We are not adopting for us. Adoption is not primarily because we want more kids (though we do), not because we feel like we don't have enough kids (though the world would say we definitely do), not about us at all. Adoption is not about finding the right child for us. If I think that the adoption is about me, about fulfilling something in me, or saying something about me, or achieving something for me, then I am setting myself up for disappointment and failure. Adoption is about the child. It's for the child. It's about her, loving her, serving her, being a family (THE family) for her. I think that's why I internally cringe when people hear we're adopting and say, "What, you didn't think you had enough kids already?"
But it's not about us. It's about God and the narrow road that he's calling us to walk in this life. Does it look countercultural sometimes? Yes, totally. And that's a good thing. They will know we are Christians by our love.
Caleigh's question that typical Thursday morning is just part of the normal conversation around our house. We were talking awhile ago about how orphanages are unusually quiet because the babies don't really cry. They learn as infants that crying - out of hunger, out of a desire to be held, out of a need for a diaper change - doesn't illicit any response and so they cease crying when they need something. We've talked about how with China baby we'll be celebrating different milestones. For example when she cries for something from us, we'll be so glad. When she gets hurt and comes to us for comfort, we'll rejoice. Because it means she is opening her heart. She is trusting us. Oh how we pray for that! So yes to you, Caleigh. Yes, absolutely we will teach her that she doesn't have to cry silent tears anymore. And we will teach her with love. "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corin 13:13).
(Can you spot the baby panda?)
